Korean Family Values
. The family is the most important part of Korean life.
. In Confucian tradition, the father is the head of the family and it is his responsibility to provide food, clothing and shelter, and to approve the marriages of family members.
. The eldest son has special duties: first to his parents, then to his brothers from older to younger, then to his sons, then to his wife, and lastly to his daughters.
. Family welfare is much more important than the needs of the individual.
. Members of the family are tied to each other because the actions of one family member reflect on the rest of the family.
. In many cases the family register can trace a family's history, through male ancestors, for over 500 years.
Confucianism
. The teachings of Confucius describe the position of the individual in Korean society.
. It is a system of behaviours and ethics that stress the obligations of people towards one another based upon their relationship.
. The basic tenets are based upon five different relationships: 1) ruler and subject, 2) husband and wife, 3) parents and children, 4)brothers and sisters and 5) friend and friend
. Confucianism stresses duty, loyalty, honour, filial piety, respect for age and seniority, and sincerity.
Korean Ancestors
. Ancestors are based on the male family line.
. Children are raised to believe they can never repay their debt to their parents, hence the popularity of ancestor worship.
. They hold ancestral ceremonies for the previous three generations (parents, grandparents, and great grandparents) several times a year, particularly on Chusok and New Year's Day.
. On Chusok, people cook and set out food to celebrate their ancestors.
The Concept of Kibun
. Kibun is a word with no literal English translation; the closest terms are pride, face, mood, feelings, or state of mind.
. If you hurt someone's kibun you hurt their pride, cause them to lose dignity, and lose face. Korean interpersonal relationships operate on the principle of harmony.
. It is important to maintain a peaceful, comfortable atmosphere at all times, even if it means telling a "white lie".
. Kibun enters into every facet of Korean life.
. It is important to know how to judge the state of someone else's kibun, how to avoid hurting it, and how to keep your own kibun at the same time.
. In business, a manager's kibun is damaged if his subordinates do not show proper respect. A subordinate's kibun is damaged if his manager criticizes him in public.
. Nunchi is the ability to determine another person's kibun by using the eye.
. Since this is a culture where social harmony is crucial, being able to judge another person's state of mind is critical to maintain the person's kibun.
. Nunchi is accomplished by watching body language and listening to the tone of voice as well as what is said.
Etiquette & Customs in South Korea
Meeting Etiquette
. Greetings follow strict rules of protocol.
. Many South Koreans shake hands with expatriates after the bow, thereby blending both cultural styles.
. The person of lower status bows to the person of higher status, yet it is the most senior person who initiates the handshake.
. The person who initiates the bow says, "man-na-suh pan-gop-sumnida", which means "pleased to meet you."
. Information about the other person will be given to the person they are being introduced to in advance of the actual meeting.
. Wait to be introduced at a social gathering.
. When you leave a social gathering, say good-bye and bow to each person individually.
Gift Giving Etiquette
. Gifts express a great deal about a relationship and are always reciprocated.
. It is inconsiderate to give someone an expensive gift if you know that they cannot afford to reciprocate accordingly.
. Bring fruit or good quality chocolates or flowers if invited to a Korean's home.
. Gifts should be wrapped nicely.
. The number 4 is considered unlucky, so gifts should not be given in multiples of 4.
. Giving 7 of an item is considered lucky.
. Wrap gifts in red or yellow paper, since these are royal colours. Alternatively, use yellow or pink paper since they denote happiness.
. Do not wrap gifts in green, white, or black paper.
. Do not sign a card in red ink.
. Use both hands when offering a gift.
. Gifts are not opened when received.
Dining Etiquette
If you are invited to a South Korean's house:
. It is common for guests to meet at a common spot and travel together.
. You may arrive up to 30 minutes late without giving offence.
. Remove your shoes before entering the house.
. The hosts greet each guest individually.
. The host pours drinks for the guests in their presence. The hostess does not pour drinks.
. The hosts usually accompany guests to the gate or to their car because they believe that it is insulting to wish your guests farewell indoors.
. Send a thank you note the following day after being invited to dinner.
Table manners
. Wait to be told where to sit. There is often a strict protocol to be followed.
. The eldest are served first.
. The oldest or most senior person is the one who starts the eating process.
. Never point your chopsticks.
. Do not pierce your food with chopsticks.
. Chopsticks should be returned to the table after every few bites and when you drink or stop to speak.
. Do not cross your chopsticks when putting them on the chopstick rest.
. Do not pick up food with your hands. Fruit should be speared with a toothpick.
. Bones and shells should be put on the table or an extra plate.
. Try a little bit of everything. It is acceptable to ask what something is.
. Refuse the first offer of second helpings.
. Finish everything on your plate.
. Indicate you are finished eating by placing your chopsticks on the chopstick rest or on the table. Never place them parallel across your rice bowl.
Business Etiquette and Protocol
Relationships & Communication
. South Koreans prefer to do business with people with whom they have a personal connection.
. It is therefore crucial to be introduced by a third-party.
. Relationships are developed through informal social gatherings that often involve a considerable amount of drinking and eating.
. Individuals who have established mutual trust and respect will work hard to make each other successful.
. South Koreans treat legal documents as memorandums of understanding.
. They view contracts as loosely structured consensus statements that broadly define agreement and leave room for flexibility and adjustment as needed.
. Under no circumstances insult or to criticize in front of others.
. Sensitive matters may often be raised indirectly through the intermediary that first made the introductions.
. South Koreans are extremely direct communicators. They are not averse to asking questions if they do not understand what has been said or need additional clarification.
. This is a culture where "less is more" when communicating. Respond to questions directly and concisely.
. Since there is a tendency to say "yes" to questions so that you do not lose face, the way you phrase a question is crucial. It is better to ask, "When can we expect shipment?" than "Can we expect shipment in 3 weeks?", since this question requires a direct response.
Business Meeting Etiquette
. Appointments are required and should be made 3 to 4 weeks in advance.
. You should arrive on time for meetings as this demonstrates respect for the person you are meeting.
. The most senior South Korean generally enters the room first.
. It is a good idea to send both an agenda and back-up material including information about your company and client testimonials prior to the meeting.
. The main purpose of the first meeting is to get to know each other.
. Meetings are used to understand a client's needs and challenges. They lay the foundation for building the relationship.
. Do not remove your jacket unless the most senior South Korean does so.
. Have all written materials available in both English and Korean.
Dress Etiquette
. Business attire is conservative.
. Men should wear dark- coloured, conservative business suits with white shirts.
. Women should dress conservatively and wear subdued colours.
. Men should avoid wearing jewellery other than a watch or a wedding ring.
Business Cards
. Business cards are exchanged after the initial introductions in a highly ritualized manner.
. The way you treat someone's business card is indicative of the way you will treat the person.
. Have one side of your business card translated into Korean.
. Using both hands, present your business card with the Korean side facing up so that it is readable by the recipient.
. Examine any business card you receive carefully.
. Put the business cards in a business card case or a portfolio.
. Never write on someone's business card in their presence.
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