Wedding Customs in Italy

Italian wedding customs have trickled down though time since the days of the Romans. But Italy's rich history also gives Italians a generous contribution of both home grown wedding customs and those bequeathed from settlers/invaders from ancient Greece, France, Germany, Spain and North Africa. Throw in Italy's mountainous geography, which divides the country into distinct regions, and you have a banquet of wedding customs to enjoy.

A traditional Italian proposal begins with a romantic serenade. Since the Middle Ages, grooms have presented their brides to be with engagement rings to solidify the solemn agreement to marry. As incomes increased, so did the interest in diamond rings, though to this day, a bride who cherishes the customs of the past will not wear any gold jewelry on her wedding day until after the ceremony.

Brides to be and their families gathered a "dote" or dowry of household goods and clothing in hope or marriage chests. This was often augmented with money or property.

The wedding date was selected with care. A rainy Sunday wedding was propitious, but certain times of the year - Lent, Advent and May - were off limits for religious reasons. Before the days of air conditioning and refrigeration, August was thought to be an unlucky month for marriage. Even today, it is less practical than other months, since many Italians vacation then, and it might be hard to gather the families together. Of course, non residents who chose a destination wedding in Italy will not face this issue.

In southern Italy, wild bachelor parties are uncommon as are raucous gatherings for the ladies.

Italian brides have often worn green, a traditional color of fertility, the night before their weddings. On her wedding day, the Italian bride wears a white gown and veil. The white dress symbolizes purity while the veil, sometimes torn for luck, prevents the groom from clearly seeing the face of his intended before the ceremony, and thereby bringing bad luck upon the couple.

In villages of the Veneto region, the groom still walks the bride and the rest of the wedding party to the church. Traditional obstacles in their path demonstrate the bride's virtues. These include a broom, which the bride picks up to symbolize her housekeeping abilities, a beggar to whom she gives alms, and a crying child whom she comforts.

In other parts of northern Italy, the groom waits for his bride at the door of the church with her flowers in his hand. Since the bride is the last to arrive, the groom's friends pass the time suggesting she has changed her mind about the wedding. To even the odds against this misfortune and others, the groom traditionally carries a small piece of iron.

One of the most delightful Italian wedding customs is the ribbon the bride and groom may find tied on the church door. It represents their coming union.

After the ceremony, a pair of doves may be released to represent the joy and bond of the new couple. As the newlyweds make their way to their flower-festooned car, they are showered with "confetti." This refers to both paper confetti as well as bags of five or seven candy-coated Jordan almonds tied up in tulle to symbolize the union of bitter and sweet in life. Throwing nuts and grain was an ancient Roman custom.

Before arriving at the reception, the happy couple sometimes stops at a local landmark, such as Rome's Capitoline Museum complex, for a photography session.

The best man supervises the pre-dinner toast, "per cent'anni," to the bride and groom, to wish them 100 years together. As the festivities progress, other popular toasts will be made. These include "evviva gli sposi," a cheer for the new husband and wife. Guests also demand the groom kiss his bride. They themselves vie to kiss her for good luck.

A large part of any Italian gathering is the food. The meal generally consists of variations on the following: appetizers, breads, pastas, soups, meat dishes, salads, fruits and dessert, in this case wedding cake, and possibly other calorie-laden delights. There will be an abundance of wine and coffee, and often, fried dough covered with powdered sugar for luck.

The happy couple shatters a glass whose broken pieces indicate the number of years they will have together.

Music and dancing includes traditional songs. The lively and popular tarantella from southern Italy is a reception favorite everywhere as are sentimental dances between the bride and her father and the groom and his mother. Guests who dance with the bride are expected to give her money if she is carrying a small satin bag to hold envelopes. Otherwise, they will find a table supervised by watchful relatives where gifts may be deposited. In northern Italy, pieces of the groom's tie may be sold to guests.

More Jordan almonds appear as favors for the guests. These signify the prayers of everyone – happiness, health, fertility, long life and prosperity.

When the bride and groom leave the reception, they vainly hope their friends have not gone to great lengths to embarrass or inconvenience them with jokes and tricks. The newlyweds generally assume their families will have opened all the gifts but the ones they may give to each other before they return from their honeymoon. And in Naples (Napoli), the new bride may find herself obligated to bake and deliver cakes to guests who attended her wedding.

A lively Italian wedding is a joyous affair. Incorporating Italian wedding customs into your own marriage can only increase the happiness of the occasion.