Wedding ceremonies a colorful part of Nigerian life

Weddings all over the world are joyous social events that bring people from all walks of life together.

In Nigeria's past, couples were usually joined together in an elaborate traditional ceremony, but with the advent of Christianity and Islam, weddings are now divided into the traditional wedding, also called the engagement ceremony, and the Christian or Muslim wedding ceremony. To save money, some couples have taken to having both the traditional wedding and the white wedding on the same day.

The wedding ceremony and the reception in honor of the bride and groom, usually reflect the financial status of the families. If a family is very rich or popular, they usually use invitation cards to weed out "intruders." These weddings attract the creme de la creme of society.

The three main tribes in Nigeria -- the Yorubas, the Ibos and the Hausas -- usually have certain stereotypes attached to them. Both Yorubas and Ibos are notorious for spending money and having all-night parties. The Fulanis are notorious for flogging young suitors with a horsewhip, and the suitor who endures to the very end, marries the girl.

In times past, a very common practice in Yoruba weddings was for the father and mother of the groom to prostrate and kneel down, respectively, before the parents of the bride, but this custom is no longer practiced, probably due to the creaking of old bones. Another common practice is to wash the feet of the new bride, but some families skip this part of the ceremony because of spiritual reasons. The master of ceremony at the reception usually fabricates a funny story of how the couple met, even though they might have met under ordinary circumstances.

Central to Nigerian weddings are the caterers popularly called "iya agoyin." These lovely ladies are mostly from the neighboring country of Togo, but some of them are Nigerians, and their job is to take care of all the cooking and all that entails.

Most cooking takes place outside the bride or groom's house, and the meals are prepared on wood fire. A lot of families prefer to have a relative or friend keep an eye on these ladies because huge chunks of beef and some cooking ingredients have been known to mysteriously disappear when these ladies are not properly supervised. You can sometimes see these ladies wolfing down huge chunks of beef while they are cooking.

It is no secret all around the world that when you invite one Nigerian to a wedding, 20 Nigerians show up and worse, they all expect to be served equally. A common way to get the waiters attention is to try to grab them when they go by and say, "Please, you have not served us here." In Nigeria, any wedding that does not adequately provide for its guests, invited and uninvited, is usually portrayed in a negative light. Nigerians love to eat and foods like pounded yam, eba, amala, different types of vegetable soups mixed with beef, fish and whatnot, jollof and fried rice.

The decorations at the reception and at the place of worship usually reflect the battle of wills and conflict of interest, the two families engage in, over wedding plans.

Both sides want to take over every aspect of the wedding and no side wants to concede to the other. The families usually settle their differences in opinion by wearing different colors on the groom and bride's side.

Nigerians usually judge a good wedding by the bridal gown, the groom's suit and the clothes of the bridal train. The parade of cars at the wedding ceremony are also a way to determine the class of the groom or bride because certain cars like jeeps are more expensive than others.

Weddings in Nigeria are very colorful and interesting, and it is this aspect of our culture, that we cling to as a people.